Parenthood is one of the toughest jobs in the world and lately, the complications have increased multifold because there is always a risk of being judged by others and a constant nagging confusion in mind of “ Am i doing it right? Young parents are swinging like a pendulum between the two extremes of Being an ideal parent implementing disciplinarian techniques Google is teaching them and creating right kind of environment for the child
Letting your child be a free spirited soul where they support and love him for whatever he does since they are struggling with the issues of lack of age mates and proper family support.
In pursuit of raising a polite , well behaved and socially acceptable child, we start teaching early. Surely one should be teaching societal rules and expectations but should it come from Instructions, a disciplinarian approach, an empathetic look or understanding of the situation???
Usually when you tell a young child to say sorry, the normal response id they act stubborn and don’t say it OR they just say it for the sake of saying it. Either ways, the purpose is defeated. A genuine sorry comes with the realisation that child has done something wrong. To make the child realise that his behavior is unacceptable, one has to make him understand with role play, repeating the rules or a pep talk. One has to show the child the situation from other persons view point and make him understand which action of his has been hurtful or wrong.
Another way to inculcate a positive attitude in child about admitting one’s mistake and apologising for it is by being a role model. When we say sorry for doing something wrong and explaining what was wrong, children do not associate the feelings of aggression, lying, embarrassment or attitude with the word Sorry. The idea is to make children aware that sorry has more to do with managing our own emotions rather than other people. Also if we they are appreciated for admitting their mistake, they would be more willing to work on it.
Parents need to make a note of one thing. Apologising or forcing to apologise too often and for trivial issues ends up loosing the meaning of apology. If sorry is said at the drop of a hat or is used to get away from every negative situation then it might instill a sense of guilt in children and some times result in lack of confidence and low self esteem.
In nutshell, one should realise that SORRY is an important word in our life and it needs to be used wisely, meaningfully and appropriately.